Happy Valentine’s Day! Today’s the day to spend with your loved one, and there’s nothing we love more than Doctor Who.
Over the years – well, recent years, anyway – it’s fair to say The Doctor has become something of a Casanova. Quite literally, in fact, when you’re talking about David Tennant. We’ve seen him get married, (sort of) have a daughter, and cop off with basically everyone who steps foot in his time machine. There always used to be a steadfast rule: no hanky-panky in the TARDIS. Well, we all know about The Doctor and his rules. Rule number one: The Doctor lies!
To celebrate this most romantic of days, join us as we count down our Top 5 smooches from Doctor Who kiss-tory…
5. I Should Be So Lucky, Lucky Lucky Lucky (The Voyage of the Damned)
The Tenth Doctor is undoubtedly the smoothest Time Lord we’ve seen. Predominantly, he was caught up with his Rose Tyler romance. From their goodbye in Doomsday to a heartbreak reunion in The Stolen Earth, it was clearly love. But monogamy must optional on Gallifrey, because that didn’t stop him locking lips with others! Martha Jones? Donna Noble? Joan Redfern? Madame de Pompadour? Queen Elizabeth I? He snogged them all. In fact, it’s near impossible to pick out just one Tenth Doctor kiss.
So, we’re just going to go with sheer achievement. In 2007’s Voyage of the Damned, David Tennant gets to make out with Kylie Minogue… twice! Talk about a Christmas present. The first time, she stands on a box to lay a smacker on him as the Titanic blows up around them (as you do). An “old tradition on Sto”, indeed. Then, after Astrid sacrifices herself, The Doctor gives her spectral “stardust” a goodbye kiss. It’s a cosmic happy ending to modern Who’s most watched episode to date. And that’s probably just counting all the millions of men who were left jealous across the globe.
4. The Ghost Kiss-perer (Series 7, The Name of the Doctor)
Actually, The Doctor seems to have a thing for kissing the deceased. Not in a weird way, we should add. It’s ghosts, not corpses, that seem to be his bag. Towards the end of the Series 7 finale, The Eleventh Doctor reveals he can see the data ghost of River Song. How? Spoilers, sweetie!
It turns out he’d actually known she was there all this time. He just couldn’t bear to face her, for fear of hurting himself. After a touching and emotional speech, he proceeds to give her a passionate embrace. When you consider that no one else can see River, it must have looked very odd indeed. But that doesn’t make it any less poignant.
At the time, this seemed like River’s final farewell. And we suppose, chronologically, it still is. From her perspective, this is the last time she sees The Doctor. Luckily, the Time Lord still had 24 years on Darillium to look forward to…
3. Missy Kissy (Series 8, Dark Water)
In hindsight, this was a bloomin’ weird one too. After weeks of teasing, we finally get to meet Missy properly in 2014’s Dark Water. Boy, what an entrance.
Posing as a welcome droid at the 3W Institute, she gives The Doctor an introductory ‘package’. Instead of a complimentary tour and a mint, she pins him up against the wall. Kissing isn’t even the right word for what she does next. More, sucking his face off, ending with a gentle peck on the nose. Michelle Gomez plays it brilliantly, and Peter Capaldi looks appropriately uncomfortable. We wonder how many takes they ended up having to do!
It’s not all for show though, it actually served a purpose. Letting The Doctor get that close allowed him to feel her two hearts. She’s a Time Lord! But not just any Time Lord. She’s The Master! We mean, The Mistress! We mean, Missy! Shippers of the world, rejoice. Except, of course, their relationship is much more complex than that, as Missy explains in The Magician’s Apprentice.
Best of all, Clara just has to stand and awkwardly watch this all happen. Sadly, she turns Missy down when offered a welcome package too. Maybe that explains all the tying-up and shoving-down-pits in The Witch’s Familiar.
2. Amazing Grace (Doctor Who: The Movie)
Come on, we couldn’t make this list and not mention the original Doctor Who kiss! 1996’s TV movie is remembered for many things – some good, some… not so good – but this is an iconic moment. The Eighth Doctor is a very cool customer, and it’s not long we see him kissing Grace Holloway. That’s right: The Doctor… kissing his companion! Maybe he was still reeling from post-regenerative trauma, maybe not. The point is, these two were pioneers, doing something Doctor Who had never dared to do before.
Needless to say, it got a mixed reaction. Uproar, even. The Doctor is an alien! He doesn’t kiss people, let alone his companions! Eugh! Except, of course, in this one he’s apparently half human on his mother’s side. And everything is suddenly all very American. Basically, in a story with such a camp and hammy Master, this kiss really should be the least of your worries.
Either way, it’s definitely the start of a new trend. Every Doctor since (except The War Doctor) has gone on to smooch someone at some point. Paul McGann may have had a tiny amount of screen time, but his impact certainly changed the show forever…!
1. Kiss from a Rose (Series 1, The Parting of the Ways)
And finally, at number one… a kiss to die for! No, really. This kiss was so powerful, it actually caused The Doctor to regenerate. What differentiates this though from Melody Pond’s poisoned peck in Let’s Kill Hitler is its sheer emotion.
It’s the climax of Doctor Who’s first series back on our screens. The Dalek Empire is rising and The Doctor is running out of time. Rose, desperate to save the day, looks into the heart of the TARDIS. And it looks back into her. She becomes the Bad Wolf and disintegrates the Daleks with little more than a flick of her wrist. She even brings Captain Jack back to life (a bit too much, in fact!). But it’s too much to handle and she needs help. Luckily, there’s a hero at hand. He pulls her close and says, plainly and simply: “I think you need a Doctor”. Nine and Rose finally get it on and the energy transfers between them.
Could The Doctor have absorbed the vortex another way? Probably. But he’s a sly dog. He saw his chance to plant a smacker on Billie Piper, and he took it. It may be the last thing he does before he dies, but you’ve got to admit, that’s a pretty good way to go. Besides, it’s not all bad. He doesn’t turn ginger, but he could certainly do worse in the regeneration lottery than David Tennant. And so, a whole new era of lovey-dovey Doctor Who was born…